I was talking to myself feeling insecure I wanted to cry everything's just wrong dad and his stupid wife mom needing someone jasim wanting to be with me and that stupid accident in avenues with that guy a7mad that I can't stop thinking about ...
I suddenly heard a something behind me I turned around there was a guy ..
" hala wallah laish bent 7elwa methlich ttmasha hni belial bro7ha"
a guy came closer telling me this.
I ignored and continued walking ...
"wain ray7a?"
I ignored again
"7abeebti momken cham kelma ?"
I ignored
"bagool lich shay bss ne6ray wagfay"
I was scared and angry and needing someone at the same time
I stopped
"ee zain wgaftay so cham ra8mich?"
he came closer and closer I felt so afraid..
I continued walking
"ta3aly..." he grabbed my arm and pulled me
omg.... I'm so scared
he turned me around so I face him.
I saw him he was like a 28 year old guy he looked scary he had that scar on his chin he was facing me smiling that dirty smile who knows what he's thinking about.
me :"wa5er 3ani"
him :"mani mwa5er lama ta36eeni ra8mich!!"
me :"mani ma36tik shay fahim roo7 wela anadi oboy"
he laughed
him :"oboch? wallah ma ashoof a7ad hni bss entay" he smiled
I hate this at that moment all I thought about was jasim I needed him here near me with me I want him to make me feel safe again I'm scared.
I pushed him so ywa5er eda 3ani and I walked away
him :"entay ta3aly ma5ala9t mnich!" he grabbed me again
I screamed " waaaaaaaaa5er 3aniii"
I closed my eyes and that guy came closer and touch my chest sliding his hands through my shirt I got scared ....
I screamed "la tjeeesny wa5er 3ani"
I was so scared I wanted my mom I wanna go home I don't want this anymore i just wanna go home I teared ..
I heard someone saying :"wa5er 3anha !!"
he was behind me
him :"w etha mani mwa5er shra7 tsawy?"
the guy behind me :"keke fetch"
he threw something i dont know what on the guy and I saw the dog running to the guy whos holding me.
the guy let go of me and ran the dog chased him away.
I fell on the floor
he came closer
him :"are you okay e5ty?"
me :"umm yea yea I'm okay"
he lifted me up so I stand when I faced him OMG
him :"wow manal?"
me :"ahh ... a7mad!"
it was a7mad .. Wow how could he be everywhere I go ..
I saw a7mad taking the dog and giving him to his freind whos actually 3abdullah and telling him to go.
a7mad came closer to me..
I was so scared that when I saw him I shred a tear I felt stupid about what I did that guy touched me he touched me I hate that Its sexual harassment Never in my life someone touched me like that I was in a shock for a minute and my heart was beating fast ..
A7mad :"manal?! Are you okay wayhich m9ofer ur in a shock ta3aly"
He grabbed my arm.
Me :"wa5er don't touch me!!!!!" I quickly responded to his touch.
A7mad :"manal its me .. I won't hurt you wallah I promise I saved you remember ?"
I had flashbacks of the accident when he saved me from the car I remembered.
I let him hold my arms and take me I was still in a shock.
A7mad :"manal! .. What happened to you? "
I didn't respond I was scared.
He took me to the sea side and made me sit in a rock it was smooth not rough I sat mtan7a.
A7mad :"manal?"
Me :"......."
I had flashbacks.
me :"wa5er 3ani"
him :"mani mwa5er lama ta36eeni ra8mich!!"
me :"mani ma36tik shay fahim roo7 wela anadi oboy"
he laughed
him :"entay ta3aly ma5ala9t mnich!" he grabbed me again
I screamed " waaaaaaaaa5er 3aniii"
he touched my chest my breasts omg ...
....
....
....
a7mad :"manal?"
I got so scared when I remembered I came closer and hugged a7mad
a7mad :"ahh manal?"
I cried on his chest
I hugged him so tight
he hugged me for 6 seconds he Tried to move away from me
I grabbed him I didn't want him to let go I was so scared
me :"don't let go please ..." while crying
a7mad :"okay"
he placed his hands on my head and hugged me while I was crying
for 2 minutes I stopped cryin and he still was holding me he didn't let me go he rubbed my back
a7mad :"manal?"
me :"umm yea?"
a7mad :"are you okay now?"
me :"yea"
I slowly let go of him and he saw a tear streaming down my face he wiped it away and lifted my head up
a7mad :"I'm not gonna leave you or let anyone hurt you okay?"
me :"okay"
a7mad :"this is the second time I saved you" he smiled
I smiled back
me :"hehe yea thank you"
we had a silent moment then a7mad suddenly said
manal :"aaaa ... its a long story"
a7mad :"I've got time .."
manal :"lazim aroo7 al7een Its getting really late"
I looked at the ground I wasn't feeling okay.
a7mad :"manal please tell me?"
I hesitated but I told him everything about my dad and mom and yea everything I even told him about jasim.
a7mad :"wow ... fahamt laish ur here yea .. you've been through alot manal el9ara7a ma twa8a3t a girl like you had these problems"
me :"liash ?"
a7mad :"cuz awal ma sheftich you were so happy and smiling sheft 6aree8at kalamich w esloobich ma3a elnass 3ajabny kel shay feech ana yoom sheftich belavnuse tara I was having a bad day el9ara7a w kent metkader 7adi ... lama kena belfood court ga3deen rab3y ysolfoon w ana kan mally 5lg wala shay 7asait ma7ad 7ass feeny fa3a6ait'hom 6af lama lafait wayhy w sheftich wallah madri sh9ar feeny ebtesamtich w shloon ttkalmain ma3a refejtich '3ayrat moody w kel shay bss sheftich ma 7asait eb '9eega madri laish bss feech shay elly 5ala '9eegty troo7 fa la7agtich bdoon ma a7iss w kept feeling better and better lema elsayara w el7adith ... and yea"
me :"wow 9ij? laish ma gelt ly?"
a7mad :"madri wallah I didn't wanna scare you" he smiled
me :"no it wouldn't scare me bel3aks thats amazing .." I smiled back.
a7mad :"fa ee hatha elsabab elly 5alany afaker ena ebent methlich ma 3indaha mshakil w chthy .."
me :"well my face sometimes tells the oppsite of what I'm feeling inside .."
a7mad :"ee 9a7"
...
a7mad :"bss atmana ena kel shay works out for the best .. w 3ala salfat oboch I think you should talk to him again le2ana you can't avoid him for too long hatha oboch mahma sawa .."
me :"yea ur right"
he talked to me I felt so relieved when I talked to him wallah kelly elly 7asait feeh 5oof w korh w el3a9abeya kela ra7 ... how?
me :"yala a7mad I should go .."
a7mad :"yea bss ma agdar a5aleech awa9lich eltaxi.."
he took me to the taxi driver to drop me home ..
me :"mashkoor again ... I owe you"
a7mad :"you owe me nothing just don't go alone at night again okay?"
me :"okay thanx again "
and I left
"wow ... what did just happen I got harassed and he saved me again ... I hugged him OMG ! I hugged him !!! I hugged him wow tawny astaw3ib .... omg jasim ! why didn't I tell him he must be worried sick I haven't even checked my phone .. dad is dad home? wow ... I dont know what happened"
suddenly I felt like my head hurts I arrived home.
I got out of the taxi and went in the house
mom :"manal????""
I hurried and hugged her
me :"moooom!!!"
mom hugged me back
mom :"waaaaaaainch manal I was worried sick t2a5arty its 11:30 pm !!"
me :"I'm so sorry mom bss ... aaa ..."
I had to make up a quick lie
me :"ee 3aysha wadatni mokan ma3a omha w t2a5ar elwagt w nesait .."
mom :"are you telling me the truth?"
me :"umm yea laish?"
mom :"or kenty bel29el ma tabeen tshoofeen oboch ... ee oboch yah elbait elyoom lama 6ala3tay ohwa dash w ne6ar kalam o5wanich w n6rach lema elsa3a 9:30 chan yroo7 gal ly ena gal lich ena beyee w ohwa gal ma te6l3een ma3a 3awash w entay 3anadteeh is that true manal?"
me :"ummm" I looked at the ground
me :"yea:"
mom :"laish manal?" she had that disappointed look
me :"madri yuma kent mabi ashofa I was afraid enty ma tadreen sh9ayer feeny ma tadreen shno ga3da amer fee wallah wayd mo shwaya w mabi ashoof oboy le2na adri shra7 y9eer yabeeni asam7a w ba3dan yabeeni ashoof morta elthanya ana mabi maaabi karahta mn halsalfa le2na elly sawa feena mo shwaya wayd ... more than wayd w foog hatha ya6lb mny asam7ha ....." I nodded my head speechless.
me :"its just wrong what he did"
mom :"manal adri elly sawa '3ala6 bss hatha oboch mahma kan w mahma sawa ra7 y'6il oboch lazim tkameena ttfahmain ma3a .."
and she kept giving me advices and I could see she was hurt just as bad as I was from him.
me :"yea I know now enshallah yuma ra7 aklma soon .."
I hugged my mom again and went up to my room today was the worst day of my life how could all this happen in one day the only good thing happened was how a7mad made me feel he protected me when I needed it ..
I washed my face changed my clothes I was still shocked from that accident earlier this day I forgot about jasim ..
omg jasim ..
I held my phone and checked my texts
jasim :"manal? hey I justed wanted to talk to you to see how are you doin after elzwara 7asaitich met'9ayga wayd" 5:26 pm
"manal 7abeebti mawjooda?" 5:54 pm
"bss gooly ly sh9ayer 3al a8al 6amneeny bss?" 6:02 pm
"3ashany manal reday adri met'9ayga bss ga3d a7ateech?" 6:05 pm
"hmmm manal wanich?" 7:30 pm
"manal dagait 3ala 3awash tgool ma tadri 3anich gelty laha bt6l3een w ehya kanat mash'3oola laish bt6l3een belail w lasih '9aroory?" 7:43 pm
"manal ? 6ala3tay?" 8:09 pm
"manaaaaaaaaaaal reday!!!!!" 8:22 pm
"manal tara mo 7elwa chthy laish ma ga3da tshoofeen talephonich a5af 9ar shay gooly ly bss !! tekfain" 8:40 pm
"badig" 9:00 pm
I had 12 missed calls from him
"manal ma yseer chthy wanich tara wallah ga3d a7ateech la tsaween feeny chthy tell me are you okay ??" 9:30 pm
" okay ba5eelich 3ala ra7tich i wont text you" 9:35 pm
"I can't sleep 7a6 edy 3ala galbi m7ateech dagait 3ala 3awash ma tadre wanich.. wanich manal wain re7tay laish ma gelty ly ana shsawait lich? u always tell me everything what happened" 11:00pm
omg ... what have I done he was worried sick why didn't I tell him why ? why ?!!
should I text him? wela la ?
me :"hey jasim I'm so sorry" 12:05 am
after 10 min he replied
jasim :"manal? 7abeebti wain re7tay tara wallah wallah ma tadreen shasawity feeny laish ma t7seen feeny laish ma gelty ly shay 3al a8al i deserve that"
me :"I'm so sorry ma sheft telephony I was upset 7aail w 9arat salfa ma3a oboy"
I didn't wanna tell him about a7mad and the guy.
jasim :"6ala3tay?"
I can't lie to him.
me :"ee"
jasim :"wain re7tay?"
me :"elba7ar"
jasim :"bro7ich?"
me :"yea"
jasim :"laish bro7ich belail"
i told him about dad and I didn't wanna see him ..
jasim :"enzain laish ma gelty ly enich bitroo7en chan ana wadaitich w t3arfeeny ana ma agool lich la"
me :"madri jasim madri I didn't think about it .. I'm sorry"
jasim :"sorry sh3ogba re7tay belail broo7ich wetha 9ar feech shay haa?"
me :"..."
jasim :"laish ma gelty ly ? you don't care about me?"
me :"I do?"
jasim :"enzain sh9ar 3ayal laish ma radaity 3alay wala gelty"
me :"jasim ana ta3bana 7ail la t5af ma 9ar shay" I lied
me :"yala banam goodnight"
jasim :"manal?"
me :"yea?"
jasim :"umm Gn"
I left the phone I felt so sad and mad and everything ufff why did this happen to me its not real I don't know what to do I'm so lost shasawy?
I slept while I was feeling so down and yea I had a very bad day The next morning I woke I washed my face 3aysha called me
3aysha :"manal?"
me :"hala"
3aysha :"ha sh9ar ams?"
me :"umm"
3aysha :"goolay?"
me :"shagool?"
3aysha :"la tsta3b6ain gooly sh9ar ams wain re7tay 6ala3tay ?"
me :"ee broo7y elba7ar"
3aysha :"mn 9ijich bro7ich belail? mno wadach"
me :"taxi"
3aysha :"ARE YOU INSEAN MAYNOONA?"
me :"ummm"
3aysha :"manaool sh9ar? goolay"
I told her everything about that guy who touched me and how a7mad saved me again and everything..
3aysha :"woooow!!! omg manoool !!!"
me :"na3am?"
3aysha :"laish ma gelty 7ag jasim"
me :"I was afraid cuz t5ailay shra7 ysawy etha gelt lah w t5ailay rdat fe3la etha gelt lah fee wa7d lemasny w t7arash feeny w wa7d thany elly kent a7lm feeh wayd w mara an8athny kan mawjood w an8athny mara thanya w 6ool elail ga3adt ma3a akalma w lamaita ... amana 3awash shra7 yfake jasim if I told him this??"
3aysha :"yea I see your point ... its bad really bad!"
I rememberd a had a flash back
Jasim :"can you promise me something?"
Me :"what?"
Jasim :"Promise me you'll be mine and no other guy will ever take you from me you'll reject any guy who comes for your hand and wait for me.."
Me :"Yea I promise"
............
I promised jasim this .. did I break it no I don't love another I dont know..
3aysha :"manal shetfakreen feeh?"
I told her what I was thinking about.
3aysha :"wow ... manool ur in a bad situation idk what to tell you but I will tell you this .. fakray 3adil w don't do anything stupid anymore just think before you do.."
me :"okay"
we kept on talking and I closed the phone.
"should I tell jasim about a7mad ? is he gonna be angry or forgive me ... Idk what to do"
I felt so sad and confused
I put my headphones on and played "when I'm gone" By Eminem
Have you ever loved someone so much, you'd give an arm for?
Not the expression, no, literally give an arm for?
When they know they're your heart
And you know you were their armour
And you will destroy anyone who would try to harm her
But what happens when karma, turns right around and bites you?
And everything you stand for, turns on you to spite you?
What happens when you become the main source of her pain?
I got so angry and carried away with this song and and sang along feeling so confused angry like I don't believe or know anything anymore...
I shouted and I threw the pillows in my bed I was angry I heard my phone it was ringin ..
it was my dad ...
No comments:
Post a Comment