"Ahh I don't wanna answer I'm already pissed and angry and Confused"
I held the phone and pressed the green button.
Me :"Aloo"
Dad :"haalee manalllyyi .."
he sounds weird
Me :"hey"
Dad :"manal akeed omich galeet lich ena ana yait elbait ams w ma legaitich .. 6ala3tay ma3a 3ayshooo?"
Me :"umm ee gelt lik ba6la3 ma3aha .."
Dad :"w 3anadteeny mara7 t6l3een hahaha chathaba .... Tadreen ena ana gelt lich ma t6l3een w 6ala3tay haha!!"
Me :"adri"
Dad :"tara ana oboch ya shesamoonich lo shno sawait ba'6il oboch w lazim t6ee3eny.. hahahaha *hickups*"
wow my dad dosen't seem like himself ....... omg is he drunk ?
Me :"ok"
Dad :"gooly enshallah"
Me :"enshallah"
What does he want I want to make things right bss eslooba shno byo9al lah??
Dad :"enzain ana 3azmich enty w o5wanich eb sh8ty ana w morty el7elwa"
WTF?
Me :"na3am??"
Dad :"halweekend"
Seriously!! ... He wants me to come over his apartment and see him and his wife Mabi ashofha wala agarb mnha
Me :"la yuba ent t3al baitna broo7ik"
Dad :"la many yay w ashoof omich hathy mara thanya a7san eb baity.."
Ouch his words cut deep ..
Me :"w shno ya3ni etha sheft omy shfeha 3araft'ha 6ool 3omrik w al7een tgool mabi a9adfha .. Wallah 7asafa 3ala kel la7'6a ge3edat feeha ma3ak 5asara wallah omy tswak w teswa mortik "
Omg what did I just tell my dad!!
Dad :"ya 7mara tkalmeemy chthy?? Ana oboch ya ya ya ..... *hickups* 8leelat el2adab ma tst7een 3ala wayhich mashy manool mashy bss ne6ray lama ashoofich .. Ne6rooy"
Peeep .. Peep .. Peep ... Peeep
He closed the phone on my face OH MY GOSH he's drunk!! I wish I had never picked that stupid phone!!
Omg! What did juat happen ... w laish gelt lah chthy I have never said anything like this before especially to my dad whats happening !!
I put the phone away and coverd my face with my hands ..
"Shfeech manal? Laish kel shay ga3d y9eer feech al7een laish? 7ayati gabil kanat a7san kel shay kan a7san shloon kel shay galab mara wa7da"
I was talking to myself Feeling like a mess I don't know what I'm saying or what I'm doing whats happening?
I wanted to change my life the way I act the words I say I don't feel like talking to jasim or 3aysha I need that one person who understands me fully .. I need ...
Someone knocked the door it was mom.
Mom :"manal 7abeebti?"
Me :"tfa'9lay yuma"
Mom entered my room came closer to me and sat in my bed.
Mom started talking about how she feels and she's scared to lose us cause of dad's wife she isn't feeling strong enough the man who she spent her life with left her without any warning .. She was dessprerd and she wasn't feeling any good or better I know she's trying to be strong for us but its obvious in her eyes she was weak I could see that I love my dad I always have but how he treated my mom and the way he's been acting is just not fair why does he have to leave her leave us? Weren't we good enough for him? why drink and be like that again doesn't he loves him family? Now i know whats its like for all the kids out there with separated parents feel... like they become so lost and life doesn't make sense anymore ..
Mom finished talking and I hugged her again and she thanked me again .. This has been going on since dad left us Everytime my mom feels upset or met'9ayga she comes to me and I make her feel better its like I'm the mom and she's the daughter .. I will always be there for her But who will be there for me?
Suddenly a7mad Crossed my mind ... I feel like he's the only one elly when I told him everything ert7t lah and he can slowly make me feel better and like nothing happened just like how jasim used to .. But jasim ahh why am I not telling him anything anymore.
Jasim hasn't texted me since yesturday he's probably mad ..
I looked at the bracelet he gave me I remembered how back in 5airan he gave it to me and how nice and sweet and romantic he was ..
Flashbacks...
me :"wow this is beautiful" while holding the bracelet I teard
jasim :"la la 7ubi laish tabcheen :( tara az3al"
me :"hehe I'm tearing cause I'm happy"
jasim :"haha madam chthy ee 3adi ebchay elmohem mestansa" he was teasing me
me :"oush oush" I laughed
-----------------------------
I smiled remembering what happened.
I miss him ..
I held my phone and texted jasim :"I miss you"
Jasim :"I miss you more baby ... Wallah na6rich tdzeen bedal ma ana kela adiz lich .."
Me :"really?"
Jasim :"ee"
Me :"i thought you were mad at me mn salfat ams"
Jasim :"Ma agdar a3a9b 3alaich wallah bss a39b sa3a yemken w ba3dain ashtag lich w ansa wallah ma tadreen shkither a7bich bss 5ayf 3alaich ana kel ma a3a9b 3ashan ma9la7tich w a5af y9eer feech shay"
Me :"awwwwwww"
His words were so honest .. I didn't know ... Omg I feel bad now! What am I supposed to do I think I should be honest about a7mad .. or ... or maybe I wont see a7mad again so I should forget right ..?
jasim :"7ubi?"
me :"3yonha?"
jasim :"I wanna tell you I'm sorry in personal !!"
me :"oh how?"
jasim :"I want you to meet me somewhere!"
me :"where"
jasim :"hmmmmm 9oob elba7ar?"
I remembered I always see a7mad there ..
me :"la la mokan thany"
jasim :"laish?"
me :"madri mally 5lg elba7ar" I lied
jasim :"okay at starbucks el***** tomorrow 5 pm"
me :"okay I'll see you there"
jasim :"okay can't wait <3"
I relaxed that day I haven't talked to 3aysah I needed to get myself back together
The next morning :
I woke up Took a shower got out the hot steamy shower and wore my towel I sat on the chair staring at the mirror I looked at myself for a while I felt like something was wrong I have no idea what but something wasn't right ... I got up wore my light baby pink top and blue jeans and straightened my hair and applied some soft pinkish make up I wore my white sandals I went downstairs watched tv and sat with bros and mom after that I told mom I wanted to grab me something from Starbucks she told me to bring her hot chocolate I got out told the driver to take me to Starbucks I texted jasim I was on my way he was already there waiting for me ..
I walked in I felt nervous even though I saw him alot before .. I saw him by the window sitting I noticed he had a plastic bag ... I wonder whats in it I came closer he was holding and playing with his phone when he saw me he left his phone and stood up ..
me :"elsalam"
jasim smiled
jasim :"wa3alaikom elsalam"
I smiled back at him
jasim :"tfa'9lay .. I saved you a seat "
I sat infront of him facing him I took a deep breath I could smell his perfume "play" the one I'm addicted too ..
me :"play?"
jasim :"all the way"
we both laughed ..
me :"hehe yea I love it"
jasim :"it loves you too"
I blushed
we had an awkward silence ..
jasim :"manal umm ... elly kent bagoola ana asef 3ala t9areftay ma3ach these past days w adri mo msahel 3alaich w ana m9a3b el2moor w mkaber elsowalf bss 9adgeeni ma asawy chthy mny w el6reej bss ana a7bich w a5af 3alaich w al7een mo bss a7bich ana amoot feech roo7y lich i'd die for you manal ... elly bo9al lah ena I'm sorry and I love you so so much manoolty I promise I'll always be there for you ur my wife remember .."
I smiled
jasim :"hach.."
he handed me the plastic bag ..
me :"oh ... what is it?"
jsaim :"open it .."
he smiled
I opened the bag and found a paper ...
wow
he drew me ... he's actually really good OMG he drew me !!!
me :"wow jasim resemtny?"
jasim laughed :"ee"
me :"aa ... mm .. aa ... "
I was speechless
me :"wow!! msahallah ur really good shloon resamtny?:
jasim :"it wasn't hard ... but whats hard is painting your beauty cuz its not easy drawing someone so beautiful like you my painting isn't perfect like you .."
I blushed
"oh my gosh this is amazing"
me :"mashkoor jasim thank you so much .."
jasim :"no need ... umm manal?"
me :"yea?"
jasim :"why are you quite ?"
he looked at me wondering why am I silent and wasn't like me before
"I dont know .. why was I silent I usually talk to him and yea"
me :"wallah madri .."
jasim :"manal pinch me if I'm wrong bss a7iss fee shay 9ayer ma gelty ly"
aa ooh Busted
me :"oh why would you say that?"
jasim :"ybayen mn 3yoonich w shloon entay sakta wayd"
me :"ummmm .."
jasim :"yala gooly ly shno 9ayer?"
me :"umm mako shay 9ayer" *lied*
jasim :"c'mon gooly gooly mara7 a3'9ich yala tell me?"
he was waiting for me to answer ..
jasim :"ee?"
"I don't know if I should tell him or not I'm afraid I'll hurt him .. maybe its time I told him yea"
me :"well tathker gabil lama 9ar ly 7adith ma3a 3awash and I told you a guy saved me ?"
me :"yea .. well that guy 9adafta wayd these past days and I talked to him for a while .. and the other night elly lama gelt lik 6ala3t belail w chthy when I told you nothing ... actually 6ala3t broo7y .. belail atmasha belba7ar and some guy t7arash feeny he touched me ..."
jasim poped his eyes and squeezed his hands I could see the anger on his face his forehead was filled with popin vains and the sweat coming down on his face he was super angry.
me :"and that guy the one who saved me gabil ... he was there he saved me again and .. I .."
jasim :"kamlay" with his angry tone
me :"I hugged him that night wallah cause I was scared mo 3an shay I was so scared I cried hard and I hugged him and I was the one who told him not to let go ma jasny wala shay he only helped me .."
jasim was silent the whole time ..
me :"w salfat oboy elly ....." I told him what happened with my dad yesterday
jasim was still silent he hasn't said any word ..
me :"umm jasim ?"
jasim :"okay .. I understand"
wow he's taking this really good ..
jasim :"I have to go now ..tc see u later"
and he left like that ...
what? .. how could he leave like that its just wrong
jasim's side :
I left Starbucks in a hurry and left manal there
I couldn't believe what I just heard ..
I felt anger and rage inside me abi a6al3a w ma kent abi a6l3a 3ala manal I care too much about her to hurt her so I controlled it w 6ala3t b9er3a ..
I drove to the gym my usual place where I work out and I went in I started punching the punching bags with anger
"shloon chthy w ma tgool ly ?? shloon kel hatha 9ar w 5ashta 3ani?"
I punched harder each time
"wa7d lemas'ha .. 7abeebti morty ana?"
I punched harder and screamed
"laish ma galat ly mno hatha elly an8ath'ha w la3ab door elba6al shyabi ? ya5th'ha mni?"
I punched 5 times in a row and stopped I took a deep breath and tried to let it go I worked out and finally finished I took a shower and went home ..
I went in the house ..
mom :"jasim?"
me :"na3am?"
mom :"7abeebi 7a6aina lik '3ada etha tabi belma6ba5"
me :"mashkoora bss mo yo3an"
I went up to my room feeling like crap .. mno hatha abi a3aref elly kalamha w ga3ad ma3aha w an8ath'ha mno hatha !
I layed on my bed putting my arms on my head covering my eyes..
I heard my phone vibrate it was a text from manal
manal :"jaaaaaaaaasim b9er3a ta3al baitnaa!!"
me :"laish sh9ayer?"
manal :"t3al bser3a ?"
me :"okay I'm omw"
I hurried to manal's house and I saw her walking across the street ..
me :"MANAL" I shouted for her ..
manal looked at me she looked like and angel when she was smiling at me she was wearing a white dress ..
she pointed her finger telling me to come ..
ummm sh9ayer?
I came to her and I saw her coming towards me across the street she was smiling she looked like she was so happy maybe she has good news about something ..
I stopped and she walked coming closer her hands were behind her she looked like she was holding something .. she took her hands form behind her back and she had red roses ... while she was walking i was hypnotized by her beauty whats happening ..
a car was speeding coming towards manal's
"MANAAAAAAAAL" I screamed warning her about the car
"MANAAAAL"
the car drove fast
It hit manal
OMG NO .....
I couldn't believe what I just saw NOOOOOOOOO PLEASE NO my heart skipped a beat
I hurried and came closer she was layin on the floor
"MANAL MANAL 7ABEEBTI .... are you okayy ? 7ubi 7ayati??"
I held her while she's on the floor she wasn't answering ..
she wasn't even breathing ...
yaa rab la tekfa la tekfa ... ya rab atrajak ...
my eyes were filled with tears my hands were filled with red blood Where is this blood coming from ?
is this real??? NO It can't be its not real
"MANAL ? tefkfain reday 3alai 7abeebti 7ayati wallah sam7eeny 3ala kel ely 9ar sam7eeny manal ... WAKE UP goomay tekfain " I started crying
I held her head while she's on my lap I put my hand on her neck to feel her heart beats .. but there weren't any ...
me :"ya rab atrajaaaak e5ith roo7y la ta5th ro7ha please please please dont die pleeeeeease" I cried hard while holding her head
me :"laaaaaa laaaaaaaaa please ya rab tekfa raj3haa atrajak ya rab" while looking at the sky and crying hard
I was begging for her soul I layed her on her back and opened her mouth I gave her a mouth to mouth I put my mouth on hers and blew air and pressed on her
I did it 3 times she still wasn't breathing
this can't be happening ....
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