I didn't know who to replay
"Agool 7ag jasim about a7mad being my lab partner ? Or no ...! I think I should"
I grabbed my phone and texted jasim.
Me :"jasim I have something to tell you w atmana enik ma t3a9b wala ta7kom .."
Jasim replied :"enshallah I won't golay?"
Me :" promise?"
Jasim :"I promise"
Me :"a7mad is now my lab partner .. Cause my other partner changed classes and the doc. Said i'll fail If I don't have a partner so he did me a favor.."
Jasim was silent for 2 minutes
Jasim :"w 6aba3an ohwa shafich me7taja a partner w raz wayha gal yabi y9eer ur partner 9a7"
Me :"he was just trying to help me .."
Jasim :"ee mashallah 3alaih bss yabi ysa3dich lool"
Me :"whats that supposed to mean :/?"
Jasim :"8a9dy tara neyeta akthar mn chthy ma yabi ysa3dich bss yabi mnich shay ...."
Me :"shyabi mny?"
Jasim :"ashkara yabeech"
Me :"what :/ he dosen't"
Jasim :"entay shdarach?"
Me :"madri bss ye7trmny as a friend"
Jasim :"great way to gain you ;)"
Me :"what :/!! Shfeek chthy"
Jasim :"entay elly shfeech m9adgta tara gam yel3ab 3alaich la t9adgeen kel shay"
Me :"he's just helping me with my college work bss madri laish mkaber elsalfa"
Jasim :"ana mkaber elsalfa :)? Entay a9lan hal2ayam mo mla7'6atny kilsh akalmich trdeen 3alai eb nafseya tara ana bss abi ma9la7tich .. Mabi shay thany"
I sat there in silence thinking.
Jasim :"shofay ana a7bich w mara7 a6lib mnich shay bss deery balich w kaifich w la tgoolen ana ma 7athartich .. Bye"
And he left like that leaving me wondering..
I was thinking
"Could jasim be right ? Is a7mad trying to gain me trying to take me .. No .. N .. No he wouldn't ! But maybe its true and how I'm treating jasim wasn't fair I feel stupid he's right I feel stupid I don't wanna be like this .. A7mad is my friend and he'll just be my friend I promise myself ... and I won't ever break it and If I do I won't trust myself or let anyone trust me ever again .. Thats a promise"
I layed in my bed thinking suddenly I received another DM from a7mad.
PK7amood :
"Manool are you there we have to discuss the project now cause 3indy sh'3il ba3dain"
Manool222 :
"Okay lets talk here .."
PK7amood :
"Bss 9a3ba hni"
Manool222 :
"Like it or not we'll talk here only .."
I was harsh on him cause I don't wanna get close to him anymore..
PK7amood :
"Umm ok"
And we started discussing our project and doing our papers for tomorrow when we were done.
PK7amood :
"Thats it .. We're done ^_^ so what do you wanna do now?"
Manool222 :
"I'm gonna do my other work so ttyl"
And I left I didn't wanna start a convo with him.
I worked on my college work did some papers and more When I was done I went downstairs and I saw 5alood and 7amood infront of the TV watching Cartoon Network our fav channel I sat there with them watching it too its been a while since i watched tv ..
We all ate some snacks I ate a jar of Nutella its my fav and relaxed I went up to my room I kinda missed talking to 3aysha I called her cell ..
It was ringing...
3aysha :"Alooo"
Me :"hey beautiful"
3aysha giggled :"hey gorgeous"
Me :"so whats up?"
3aysha :"not much really college stuff and whats up with you it almost 10 pm w entay ma tdgeen hal7aza ella etha shay 9ayer"
Me :"lool la bss I kinda missed talking to you"
3aysha :"awwwww 7ayaatii manoolty I missed talking to you tooooo .. So hows everything you know ..?"
Me :"ummm"
3aysha :"A2ooo when say that ummm shay kbeer 9ayer tell me.."
Me :"wallah madri 3awash .."
3aysha :"tell me !!!"
I told her what jasim said and how thingss went ..
3aysha :"wow! Do you think a7mad is ..?"
Me :"umm idk"
3aysha :"maybe jasim's right I think methel ma gelt lich la tgarbeen wayd yama .."
Me :"what am I supposed to do 3awash he's in my classes and my lab partner mo ma38ola a7gra I can't :/!"
3aysha :"yea your right I think you should tell a7mad about this and talk to him face to face.."
Me :"but I don't want to.."
3aysha :"then t7amlay elly bey9eer .."
Me :"fine .. I'll talk to him"
3aysha :"good"
We kept talking rill it was 11:30 pm and I had to sleep Cause I was really tired
The next morning I woke up at 9:30 am and I wore my blue and white top with black jeans and white sandals I made my hair straight and applied some soft make up, I took my bag and went outside to the car the weather was getting better it almost the end of september it was windy I went to college and It was almost time for lab before I went in I was holding my books walking down the hall ..
I saw a7mad walking towards me My heart started beating fast I noticed from a distance he made a new style saksoka I loved it it was really attractive he smiled from far away his amazing cute dimple smile and his eyes my gosh his eyes were sparkling when he came closer ..
I came back to reality ..
A7mad :"hey manal" he smiled at me.
Me :"hey .." I smiled back then wiped away my smile.
A7mad :"so are you ready for the project today.."
Me :"yea.."
A7mad :"good" he looked at the ground and noticed my sandals..
A7mad :"oh nice sandals.."
Me :"thanx"
A7mad kept staring at my sandals..
Me :"what?" I smiled.
A7mad :"looool" he laughed.
Me :"shnoo?"
A7mad :"this is gonna sound weird but I love your feet how they look"
I had that weird face expression..
Then I laughed hard.
Me :"LOOOOOL"
A7mad :"okay okay oush la t'97keen -.-"
Me :"LOOOOOOL yea it is weird that u like my feet LMAO"
we both laughed
I suddenly remembered I shouldn't talk to him much only about the project ..
Me :"ummm see u at lab class"
A7mad :"woooooh wait wain 6ayra?"
Me :"I have some stuff to do.."
A7mad :"mashallah kel yoom you have stuff to do.."
Me :"ee busy me" I smiled.
A7mad gave me his innocent dimple smile.
A7mad :"stay?"
Me :"sorry I can't yala bye"
I turned around.
I felt someone touch my hand.
I turned around at a7mad he held my hand.
A7mad :"manal ... Please stay!"
Me :"what are you doing?"
A7mad :"abeech tg3deen don't go.."
Me :"can u move your hand please?"
A7mad moved his hand.
A7mad :"okay"
Me :"see you later.."
A7mad gave me a sad face.
A7mad :"see you"
No more laughing and having fun with him ..
I left and lab class started me and a7mad went in
We sat the doctor kept talking and I could notice a7mad keeps staring at me Whenever I look at him he looks away..
Doctor :"alright everyone hand out your reports"
I stood up and a7mad came closer to me.
A7mad :"3a6eeny ana a36eeha"
Me :"la ana a36eeha"
A7mad :"may5alf 3a6eeny ana ba36eeha"
Me :"uff gelt lik ana ba36eeha"
A7mad :"w ana ga3da agoolich ana ba36eeha"
Me :"mani ma36tik"
A7mad :"5ala9 ana mani ma36eech"
Me :"ufffffff fine fine hak"
I gave him my papers I have no idea why we argued.
He smiled at me and winked.
Me :"I hate you :)"
A7mad :"I hate you too"
I laughed.
Me :"hahaha .. E7m chub chub just ahh bss eskit roo7 yala"
He went to the doctor and gave her our reports he came back smiling his dimple smile at me ..
I looked at him I seriously couldn't help but smile back His smile is so hypnotizing ..
We sat and listened to the doctor I got out of class a7mad came closer to me he looked like he wanted to talk.
A7mad :"manal?"
Me :"i have to go now a7mad elsayg na6erny"
A7mad :"wait wait .. Can we hang out tomorrow?"
Me :"no I can't sorry"
A7mad :"3ashany manool didn't we have fun last time?"
Me :"ee bs sorry It won't happen again yala bye"
A7mad :"manal tara fee shay 9ayer ? Etha fee gooly ly?"
Me :"mako shay 9ayer.."
A7mad :"don't lie to me .. Gooly"
Me :"Btw I know your game now.."
A7mad :"what game :/?"
Me :"I know your trying to gain me take me .."
A7mad :"what are you talking about?"
Me :"I have a BF a7mad I love him and you in the picture bet5areb kel shay .. You wanna steal me right yea I know your game now kela you wanna hang out w chthy"
A7mad :"wait wait mn wain 6al3 hal7achy mno gal lich a9lan?"
Me :"I figured it out myself" I lied cause jasim told me
A7mad :"awal shay I'm not trying to steal you gain you or elly gelteeh w thany shay ana ma sawait shay ella kent 6ayb ma3ach w at'3ashmar w laish sa3adtich a9lan w saved you cause I care I always cared bss w ma 6alabt mnich shay ella we hang out .. 5ala9 yuba tabeeni ma akalmich eb shay thany '3air eljam3a ? 5ala9 mara7 akalmich elly yray7ich ana basaweeh.."
Me :"yea ... Okay"
A7mad :"5ala9 I wont"
And I left .. I felt something in my heart .. It hurt me the words he said Even though I was finally free from the things he's been asking me for I felt Like I didn't want him to not talk to me.
I went home I felt soooooo down .. I decided to make up things with jasim so I called him I didn't call him in a long time..
It was ringing ..
Jasim :"hey"
Me :"hi"
His voiced kinda changed he sounded like was down at first but when I said hi he changed like he's happier.
Me :"shloonik jasim"
Jasim :"I'm good el7mdallah .. W entay?"
Me :"I'm good too damik good"
Jasim :"good"
He didn't talk much so I started talking.
Me :"so jasim ... You were right about what you said about a7mad and I told him what you said and wa3adny ma ykalmni '3air sh'3il eljam3a"
Jasim :"good I'm glad a7san wallah"
Me :"yea.."
Jasim :"I missed talking to you"
Me :"yea me too"
We kept talking normally and things were okay and better but still I didn't feel fully good about what I told and did to a7mad ofc jasim wouldn't care he'd be glad ena a7mad ra7.
We closed the phone and I didn't feel good after talking to jasim Sure I love him and all but something just wasn't right I can feel it ..
The next day I woke wore my skinny blue jeans yellow top and straightened my hair and pulled half of it back and I brought my bag and books went to my first class where a7mad is with me..
I saw a7mad inside ... I went in class and he stared at me and I stared at him ... I looked away he didn't do that dimple smile he always does its obvious he was upset I didn't smile either I sat infront almost the second raw and miss sona started talking.
Miss sona :"alright class today We're gonna hear some presentations about any subject you choose first we'll start with a7mad .."
A7mad stood up and went infront near miss sona ..
He held his papers and gave them to the miss he started talking ..
A7mad :"ummm hey everyone first of all I'll start off by talking about life ..
I learned in my experience life may not be as easy as we thought it would and it doesn't get easier we just grow and get stronger I learned that we do have a choice in life .. We can choose to do this or not No one can actually choose for us unless we let them .. we choose for our selfs the path we choose is in our hands .. Some people may take the easy road and some take the hard .. Either way what we choose is in our hands not anybody ales"
A7mad stared at me ..
A7mad :"and if we WANT something we have the choice to take it .."
He looked at me while saying that.
A7mad :"No one can control us and tell us what to do unless we let them and if we're not happy about something we have a choice to leave it or stay with it.."
A7mad looked at me while saying that too.
I started thinking about jasim ..
A7mad :"so in the end life and the path we're in .. is in our hands .. You always have a choice ... Thank you"
And a7mad sat in his seat ..
Miss sona :"wow a7mad that was very inspiring now dalal come up please"
I turned my face around and saw a7mad and he looked at me I stared at him and he nodded his head smiling I turned back to face the miss .. While dalal was talking .
I felt something inside me woke up By what a7mad said ... He's right I do have a choice why should I let anyone decide for me while I can decide for myself..
I went to my other classes I was pressured alot from college work a7mad hasn't talked to me all day..
I went home so tired and jasim texted me..
Me :"not now jasim I have alot of stuff to do"
I closed the phone and took a nap ..
When I woke up I had a huge headache ..
I went downstairs I took a panadol and ate some food ..
I went back to my room and held my phone I saw jasim leaving me a bunch of texts ..
"manal? are you there?"
"enzain at least reday 3alai?"
....................
I sent him :"jasim we need to talk"
jasim replied after 5 minutes :"yea?"
me :"I want a break .."
jasim :"shno ? sh8a9dich?"
me :"I want a break from us .."
jasim :"shnooooo???!!!"
me :"yea its just for a while le2any ma'9'3o6a mn eljam3a w ent w kel shay w a7iss abi wagt broo7y afaker"
jasim :"lool tfakreen wela 8a9dich 3an a7mad lol"
me :"lol wow ... is that your trust ? mashallah now I know how you trust me .. :) thanx alot"
jasim :"we're not gonna take a break mabi zain???:)"
me :"I need it jasim .. We'll be just friends okay? "
jasim :"you wanna break up ? what about your promise you're my wife you promised me ..."
me :"I'm not gonna leave you forever its just till I sort things out .. and I promise I won't let any other guy take me away from you we'll be just friends for now"
jasim :"mabi manool mabi ... Shno friends :/"
me :"please 3ashany .."
jasim :"lol is it cause of a7mad?"
actually the reason of it was a7mad the words he said made me think and wonder .. but I couldn't tell jasim about it or he'll think I love him or something ..
me :"no" I lied
jasim :"okay I'll give you some space and I'll be your fried if thats what you want bss ana mabi bs ..elly yray7ich"
me :"thank you"
I'm so glad he finally let me have a break and understood I really do have a choice.
I felt better actually for a while.
its been 2 days since me and jasim took a break and a7mad respected me and didn't talk to me.
after those too days it was thursday and I recived a text from jasim ..
jasim :"hey manal"
me :"hey.."
jasim :"I need to talk to you about something.."
me :"hala talk"
jasim :"reem .."
me :"what ?"
jasim :"my ex reem is back"
me :"what :\"
jasim :"yea ams kalematny w galat ena t7bny ahalha 6a7oo 3alaiha gabil w al7een radoo talephonha .. its been 1 year since I last talked to her and we left eachother 3ashanha w ahalha ..."
me :" ....."
jasim :"manal?"
me :"what?"
jasim :"i know 9adma bss elmohem akamel?"
Me :"okay"
Jasim :"I told her .. I miss her and love her too .."
Ouch he told her that?
Jasim :"and We're kinda back together now.."
HOLD UP!!
Back together?
What the hell?
How could he not tell me? About his past relationships .. 9adma wallah..
Jasim :"manal? You said we're friends now right? .."
Me :"yea .. But .."
Jasim :"yea so its cool right?"
A77 a77 a777 shloon ma y7iss WTF I told him abi break shwaya for a while and be friends and he found someone in 2 days his ex .. Oh my gosh
My heart burned .. I felt severe pain in my chest Its like a Knife went through and out of my heart and It won't stop bleeding A tear streamed down my face while I was silent holding the phone ..
I replied jasim :"umm yea its cool its ur life lol" It hurted me like hell.
I was in a total shock I was out in my aunts house at that time and everyonw was in the house I went outside for a walk ..
Suddenly I went in twitter and saw a New follower a girl called reem..
Reem :
"Please follow back"
I followed her and she sent a DM.
Reem :
"Hey your manal right?"
Manool222 :
"yea"
Reem :
"I'm reem jasim's ex .. And I just wanna say thank you sooooo much for letting us be together you're such a good friend to jasim.. Manal"
8aharny kalamha... 8haratny I wanted to kill her I wanna hit something ma y7soon belly ga3deen ysawoona feeny hatha 7abeebi ana w ehya tadri shloon chthy WHYY WHYY
I couldn't breath en8mat w ana atmasha belshare3 9adry 3awarny 7aail I started to tear bss maska bachyty OMG my chest hurts soooo much!!!
Its like something heavy in my heart at the same time it felt like liquid coming out down my chest .. Like its bleeding I couldn't bare with the pain ..
Manool222 :
"Np"
Jasim texted me :"kalemtich manol?"
Me :"yea.."
Jasim :"so its cool between me and you ? Friends <3"
Omg WOW WOW!!!
Me :"sure friends.."
Jasim :"a7iss met'9ayga.."
Met'9yga :)? Yoy have no idea how I feel.
Me :"la I'm actually with my family asolf w loya I'm laughing a9lan xDloool there funny"
Jasim :"u sure manool?"
Me :"yea positive now go have fun"
Abi y7iss shway abi y7iss belthanab ...
Jasim :"you have no idea how much this means to me manool I love you so so much your the best friend in the whole world I'll ttyl"
At that moment my heart stopped I couldn't help it but Cry I had to go inside my aunt's house but mabi ashoof a7ad so I went to the back door I ran to go to the clothes room it had a bed I layed in bed and cried my eyes off and held my chest..
"Laish ysawy feeny chthy?? Ma y7iss I only told him I want a break for just a while ma meda 2 days he found someone"
I cried hard and help my chest
"Laish galbi y3awrny chthy wala mara 3awarny chthy.."
And i cried and cried and cried so much till I fell asleep in that room..
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