Doctor :"well manal ur mom is in a very dangerous condition, she has high blood pressure not to mention desk and now she got an infection which caused her to lose her hearing elt'hab bel2thn so when you want to talk to her u have to higher ur voice .. and she looks like she's been pressured alot"
"oh my gosh my mom is very sick I can't believe this"
when I heard the doctor tell me that I got so worried I don't want anything to happen to her, just the thought of my mom being sick terrifies me.
Me :"so what are gonna do now?"
Doctor :"your mom needs alot of rest and someone to look out for her is your dad around?"
Me :"oh they're divorced..."
Doctor :"well then you should take care of her she needs that right now more than anything you have to help her and be there for her when she needs anything thats what you can do to make her feel better"
Me :"okai thank you doctor.."
Doctor :"ur welcome you can see her now"
I went in to see my mom.
I saw here laying there so weak and helpess she looked so tired and like she's worn up with everything that happened to her I can't blame her she went through alot with my dad the marrige divorce losing her dad my grandpa it was all too much for her still on top of that she managed to take care of us and provide everything we need she works alot more than my dad she comes home so tired but still stays up to spend time with her kids and educating them and taking them out just to have fun, to be honest I truly haven't met a mother or a girl telling me about her monther that she was strong and like that like my mom... I have never met a women like my mom in this world I heard alot of people struggled and were strong but I haven't met anyone who did half the things my mom did w ma3a hatha mga9reen eb 7agha and now she's sick this makes me regret all the times I didn't spend with her, This makes every moment precious with her.
I came closer to my mom she looked at me while she's laying in bed the she had wires and everything on her hand.
she smiled
Me :"yuma?" I teared
Mom :"7abeebti masma3?"
6awalt 9ooty so she hears me
Me :"yumaaa??"
Mom :"hala 7abeebti"
I come closer
Me :"Mommy I'm so scared I was so scared ..." I teared
Me :"I thought for a moment I lost you or I could lose you ... wallah ma tadreen sh9ar feeni my heart stopped when you didn't answer me .. dont do that .. dont do that ever again please" I cried while telling her that
Mom :"7abeebti la tabcheen ta3ali"
she opened her arms and I came closer to her and hugged her.
Mom :"shhhh .. shhhh don't cry, Manal I will never leave you and ur brothers I'm strong I'll be strong for u ... you know why?"
Me :"why?"
Mom :"because entay w o5wanich are my life I will fight till my last breath to not leave u or them, because I love you with all my heart ur my babies I will always be there for you .."
I teared . . .
Me :"yuma ana asfa 3ala kel shay sawaita w 3ala kel wagt za3altich feeh ..w asfa etha eb yoom 5alatich ma ter'9ain 3alai"
Mom :"7abeebti ana wala marra ma re'9ait 3anich w o5wanich le2ana eb ay la7'6a allah yemken ya5th amanty . . . w ma abi a'3'9b 3alaikom l2na allah ma ra7 yer7amkom etha met 9adgeeny manal ana a7bkom wayd entaw aham shay eb 7ayati"
Me :"w e7na n7bich yuma, just don't do that ever again don't scare me like that please"
my mom wiped my tears away.
Mom :"allah y5alaikom ly w y7af'6kom gooly ameen"
Me :"ameen"
I sat there in her arms she talked to me and I talked to her, heart to heart and for the first time I felt like she's the most important thing of my life I forgot about anyone and everyone it was just me and my mom.
Mom :"manal tathkreen lama kentay bel7a'6ana?"
Me :"7a'6anat elreg3y?"
Mom :"yea I remember you were so shy u were afraid to talk to anyone and when I came I saw you tear while u were 4 years old u ran towards me and hugged me and u told me (don't ever leave me mommy) 3ad fee halla7'6a 3awarty galbi I never wanted to leave you ever since I stood by you and with u all the time even when I had work I cancelled it for you because ur more important than anything"
Me :"yea .. I don't remember fully bss I remember 1 thing about that ... I remember ena I never ever wanted you to leave me I cry everyday hoping you won't leave even though you never left I always wanted you to be there for me"
Mom :"ee 7abeebti I know ... when you grew up and became a Teenager you changed you didn't need me anymore and you always pushed me away and that really hurt me manal because I remember when you were a baby you told me dont ever go and now ur pushing me away I got hurt because you grew up I felt like you didn't need me anymore and I felt u didn't love me the same as you did when you were a Child"
I teared so much that I couldn't see anything I blinked and tears fell into my mom's arm.
Me :"mno gal I don't need you anymore, I always do all the time wallah yuma sa3at amer eb sha'3lat wayda atmana aroo7 lich w ashky lich bss u were going through so much w mabi azeed 3alaich w kan eb 5a6ry a6le3 kel shay eb galbi bss I back away because I know ... I know u were under pressure, yuma ma tadreen shkither a7tajej lama az3al lama a'97ak lama abchy lama astanas I need you all the time w aham shay lama {a5af} awal shay afaker fee entay cause you gave me strength when I had non at all, you gave me hope when I was running low you showed me how to make it through and when I had no one you were there, imagine I didn't have you it would be a cold world and I'd be a lost girl .... since the first day I was born u were the first person who I saw the first person who taught me how to talk walk play read u were the person who made me the person I am today, u gave me everything I ever wanted wala mara ga9artay and most of all u were the reason why I exist and for everything mashkoora cause u raised me and believed in me and did everything for me If I spent a life time repaying u back I will take forever"
I saw tears stream down my mom's face.
Mom :"manal I love u so much"
Me :"wallah ana akthar yuma" I teared
I kissed her forehead and hugged her and she hugged me back it was the best moment I had with my mom a moment I'll always remember.
after few minutes my mom's sister came with khalid and m7amad they all ran hugging my mom and my aunt sat with mom talking and I saw my mom laugh and so happy that all her kids yamha, and I just realized thats everything I want, for my mom to be happy and healthy and okai.
my mom got better but still she needed alot of care we took her home and I spent all day with her I brought her food and did everything she asked me I felt happy ..
till it was midtnight I had to sleep I brushed my teeth and got ready to sleep I held my phone and saw a text.
a7mad :"hey manal<3 you haven't texted me all day wainich?"
I had this feeling I shouldn't talk to him at all I didn't reply him and I went to sleep.
I woke up the next day I saw a text from him.
a7mad :"Good morning my beautiful princess where are u? why haven't u replied me?"
I didn't wanna reply him because I felt like I needed to pay more attention to my mom than to him my mom was much more important than anything.
so I left the phone and went to my mom and made her breakfast
when I came I checked my phone.
a7mad :"manaaal?? wainch??? laish ma trdeen?"
Me :"hey"
a7mad :"shfeech?? where were u?"
Me :"my mom got sick"
a7mad :"oh is she oki?"
Me :"yes she's fine now I took her to the hospital and she got very sick I had to take care of her"
a7mad :"oh ..I'm sorry ajer w 3afya enshallah to her"
Me :"thank u .. yea thats why I didn't reply I was taking care of her"
a7mad :"oh yzach allah alf 5air ya ba5t omich feech"
Me :"awww ..well thank u I guess umm I have to go now"
a7mad :"wait?"
Me :"yea?"
a7mad :"I'm thinking about el56oba I wanna come to u asap (as soon as possible)!"
Me :"ummm about that a7mad .. don't"
a7mad :"what do you mean?"
Me :"I think its too early .."
a7mad :"thats not the true reason... tell me?"
Me :"umm .. I just think my mom is more important than what I want right now.."
a7mad :"manal .. its happening again isn't it?"
Me :"what?"
a7mad :"its happening again ur rejecting me for the 3rd time ... first friends then lovers then friends again then now abi a56bich u tell me u don't wanna be with me!"
Me :"noooo! its not like that a7mad trust me I just think ... u should t2ajla for me not now I can't be with you"
a7mad :"if not now then when? listen manal ana a7bich I tried alot and alot of effort to be with you but u just keep rejecting me either cause ur afraid or for ur parents or u wanna do the right thing ... and manal I know ur doing this for ur mom...
I teared
"I do wanna be with him but I can't now, my mom needs me and I will not leave her never"
Me :"I know a7mad I'm not doubting anything I do love you but this is very hard for me lets talk later I have to go to my mom .."
a7mad :"ahh .. oki help her but when ur free please talk to me?"
Me :"okai"
I went to my mom's room.
Mom :"manal?"
Me :"hala yuma?"
Mom :"a7ich met'9ayga .."
Me :"no .. I'm okai"
Mom :"shno??"
I highred my voice
Me :"I'm okaai"
Mom :"okai 7abeebti etha tabeen tgoolen shay I'm alll ears"
I couldn't tell my mom even if I wanted to cause it was complicted cause I want whats best for my mom she's the most important thing right now I'll be there for her and make her not worry about a thing.
I heared the house phone ring I grabbed it .... it was my dad.
"gosh what does he want right now?"
Me :"na3am?"
dad :"wain omich?"
Me :"in her room .. she's sick tabi shay?"
dad :"3a6eeni eyaha"
Me :"yuba ma tesma3 3adil and phone vibration y2atheeha shno bitgool ana agool laha"
dad :"la ana bakalemha"
Me :"laish?"
dad :"abi at2asaf 3ala thak elyoom"
Me :"ayy yoom?"
dad :"lama yaait elbait ana w 5athaitich entay w e5wanich ne9 elail w nesait shno 9ar bel'9ab6 ana asef manal .."
Me :"its too late to apologize dad I know everything the whole story why u changed and why married that women and why u left, I can't believe all these years I didn't know .. I can't believe all these years I was fooled by 3amaty and everyone .. dad you lied to me and to us, abeek shawy tstaw3ib elly sawaitah u broke ur family apart u drank and got so drunk u risked ur kids lives while driving and on top of that you hurt the women who spent her whole life with you giving u everything u ever wanted, gooly omy shno ga9erat m3ak?"
dad was silent
Me :"no answer ... cause omy wala mara ga9erat eb ay shay not to me not to khalid not m7amd and defenatly not to u she deserved better than how you treated her she desevres more than what I could do to her and btw, tadri ena ams omi kanat belmostashfa?"
dad :"shnooo!!!"
Me :"see ... did u even know or ask? ee my mom is sick dad I have never seen her this sick ever she's always in bed and she can't hear well I'm taking care of o5wany and mom all by myself and I gave up everything I want for them why? because I love them dad, I love my family I would never leave them for something ana hawaita or abeeh, they're too important than anything"
dad :"shloon omich?"
Me :"she's oki better than ams"
dad :"I should come and help"
Me :"no, don't bother she doesn't wanna see you, infact the main reason why she's sick is cause you left us... do you know how hard it is dad? do u know how hard it is to work and come back so tried and educate ur kids then go out and buy stuff for the house doing paper work and more its been hard on mom ana 9arly moda sakta bss thats enough lama sheft omi 9ar feeha chthy kel shay t'3ayer yuba ter'9a tshoof om 3yalik 6ay7a belmostashfa knowing ur the reason behind it?"
dad :"la manal ana asef"
Me :"yuba shefeed el2asaf? u can apologize a million times that won't make a difference but what does make a difference is what u do for us for ur kids and help us bedayatan tawgf elshrb ... STOP DRINKING dad!! just stop are u happy like that getting wasted? you once told me {when life gets hard fight back harder and ...?"
dad :"never lose faith or hope"
Me :"yea .. what happend to u? laish t'3ayart chthy?"
dad sighed he was really silent he knew I was right and he thought about it.
Me :"anyways dad I have to go take care of my mom"
I left sat with mom and khalood and m7amad all together chatting and I changed everyone's mood seeing the smile on their faces was a cure to my heart.
------------------------------------------------
when I wrote this chapter I cried while writing it because It decribes what I felt mostly in my past life and what I wanted to say but didn't have the chance to, to everyone out there reading your mom is the most important person in ur life, don't do something you'll regret make her happy and smily cause maybe one day she'll be gone just like that and you never get to see her you'd just have memories of her and that will hurt u knowing you didn't treat ur mom the way she should be treated go and kiss her forehead and thank her for everything she has done in your life cause you will never find someone like you're mom and I I will never find someone like my mom <3
No comments:
Post a Comment