someone knocked the door I opened it, it was dad...
dad :"manal shloonich"
Me:"ummm tamam yuba laish enta hni?"
dad :"I have to talk to your mom .."
dad walked towards my moms room and I stood infront of him so he won't go to mom.
Me :"no dad ... gool ly shno tabi she's tired w she dosen't wanna see anyone.."
dad :"ana abi ashoofha abi akalmha"
Me :"yuba please don't hurt her anymore don't cause more pain then what she already feels"
dad looked at me.
dad :"I won't manal"
I let him go and see mom before he went in I told mom to wear her 7jab and sit.
when dad enterd I left them alone I waited outside till dad came and said
dad :"thank you manal for taking care of your mom .. and I quit drinking I stopped drinking since the last time you called what you said was right manal I was selfish I don't know what happened to me I'm doing this because I love you and ur brothers I'm sorry for everything"
Me :"wow really dad?"
dad :"yea manal .. I hope you'd forgive me someday"
Me :"Me too dad me too"
dad left and I went to my mom's room ..
I saw my mom kinda shocked.
Me :"shfeech yuma shno gal oboy?"
Mom :"ahh .. wow"
Me :"shno shno?"
Mom :"oboch" she smiled.
Me :"shfee oboy"
she looked at me and smiled.
Me :"yuma tkalmay shfeech?"
Mom :"ur dad stopped drinking and he .."
Me :"he what?"
Mom :"6alag mortah .."
"oh my gosh is she serious?"
Me :"yuma mn 9ijich ? tawa gal lich?"
Mom :"ee .. wallah mo m9adga madri sha9adig .."
Me :"why were you smiling?" I smiled looking at her.
Mom :"haha madri"
Me :"your happy cause dad left his wife?"
Mom:"maybe .."
Me :"hehe you still like him"
Mom :"manal shloon I don't like him he's the father of my children .. I don't hate him or dislike him I hate how he hurt me and got married I just got so hurt from him and so shocked .. but I still love him hatha obokom I will always love him"
Me :"Awwww I think he loves you too mom .."
Mom :"I dont think so manal, he wouldn't leave me if he did ..."
Me :"I think he does, he wouldn't come back if he didn't"
my mom smiled at me and I smiled right back at her ... I saw how happy my dad made her I just had to thank him for what he did.
I called dad as soon as I left mom's room.
dad picked it up . . .
dad :"allo"
me :"elasalam 3alaikom"
dad :"wa3alaikom elsalama w ra7mat allah hala manal"
Me :"dad is it true, t6alagt?"
dad :"omich galat lich?"
Me :"yea .."
dad :"ee 7abeebti t6alagt .."
Me :"but why?"
dad :"someone reminded me that I once used to say {when Life gets hard fight back harder and never lose faith of hope} I lost faith when I got closer to my sisters 3amatich they lead me to a path I didn't know I got drunk cause of my friends and I married that women cause of 3amatich I never really loved her manal I married her because it was what my sisters wanted they always have methel ma omich galat lich el89a .. ana wallah asef manal wayd ga9art eb 7agkom w eb 7ag omich ana wayd sawait ashya2 ra7 andim 3alaihom for the rest of my life when we talked last time on the phone you made me see everything clearly, I called 3amatich and I told them that they were wrong I saw something I didn't see before I saw that without my family I'm nothing its true I hurted all of u but I wasn't myself kilsh half the time I was drunk and I'm sorry for that wallah a7bkom so much and I'm sorry I wasn't there for you and ur mom w ana ma a6lb mnkom eni arid aw ay shay bss elly a6lba eni asa3dkom again w ashoofkom akthar I left my wife because of you manal ... you made me see and make the right decision fa mashkoora 7abeebti w ana asef 3ala kel shay"
the whole time my dad talked I teared cause I felt like I was talking to my dad again I felt like he got back my real true dad.
Me :"wow .. thank you mashkoor yuba 3ala kel shay thanx for giving up things for us"
me and dad talked it through it made me happy to know that my dad was back and I was the reason it was such an amazing feeling I closed the phone sat with mom talked and I saw her so happy it was the best moment we had in a long time.
the next day It was 3aysha's melcha I had to go so I wore my black tight dress it was short and black and gold heels I waved my hair and applied party make up with red lipstick I got ready I called my aunt to sit with mom so I'd go to 3aysha's melcha when I arrived I went to 3aysha and sat next to her I hugged her.
3aysha :"THANK U soo much for coming"
Me :"I wouldn't miss it for the world" I smiled
she looked so happy excited and nervous.
I sat near her then the ceremonies happened.
at the end she got married and she was so happy and I was so happy for her then I rememberd a7mad and the pain grew, cuz It never went away it was there when I rememberd him it grew bigger and I just miss him so much.
"maybe we'll be in eachothers class next semester . . ."
I kissed 3aysha congradulated her then went home I saw my mom sleeping I kissed her forehead and told my aunt to leave I sat in my bed holding the phone I had this urge to text a7mad but I couldn't cause I told him after 2 years ...
"ahh it hurts to know I can't talk to him when I despretly want to"
I had to delete him or I'd feel more pain than I already do .. so I deleted him from my BBM's List and everywhere and when I logged in twitter before I could block him I saw a tweet.
PK7amood :
"I miss you so much it hurts -M"
"ahh I can't do this ..."
I finally built up the courage to block him and it hurt me so bad.
I slept that day and woke up without a text without anything t3awadt a7mad sending me "good morning my beautiful princess" texts and its just not the same I teared when I first woke up I felt pain again.
2 weeks passed and dawamat for college started ... I woke up the first day and wore something nice a furry baiyj top with blue jeans and baiyj Uggs I went to college and the whole time I was searching for a7mad at least just to see him I looked everywhere then I asked some guys who know a7mad.
Me :"low sama7t have u seen a7mad el****"
the guy :"oh a7mad ma ydawem al7een .."
"what does he mean"
Me :"what do you mean?"
the guy :"he left college KU ra7 yadris bara .."
"ouch .. wow"
I felt like crying
"he left? bara kuwait I won't see him at all ahh this is unbelievable .."
I swear my heart burned.
Me :"thank u"
I sat alone men9adma.
"how could he leave ? just like that he's gone oh my gosh this is not happening he left he left me ..."
a voice in my head :
"he didn't leave you, you left him rememeber?"
"ahhh I don't wanna be here anymore I wanna go home I don't feel so good"
I felt like throwing up and I was so dizzy I didn't feel good at all I wanted to cry the pain in my chest grew more and bigger and I couldn't stand it, it just hurts so so much I want someone anyone to take it away.
I had to go to class eventually I returned home that day feeling like crap I thought I'd see him I thought he will be there but he's not even in kuwait how could this be, did he leave cause of me? did he leave forever.
I layed in my bed and I was in so much pain that I placed my hand in my chest pressing on my heart to make the pain stop and go away but it doesn't.
I had flashbacks ..
Me :"its true a7mad I have to do this if you truly love me you'd promise me after 2 years you'll come for my hand in marrige .."
a7mad :"I promise manal.... when I entred your life I never left and I don't plan to ... baby I'm nothing without you, you showed me how to face my fears you believed in me and when I had no one to open up to w ashkee lah u were there and you always listened and you helped me with college homework and u have the most beautiful soul I've ever seen, wallah without u chan ma da5alt squash w radait lah again without you chan me 7asait belsh3oor elly a7iss feeh al7een which is love what I'm trying to say manal I'll wait for you no matter how many years it takes I don't care about any other girls I just want you every part of you to be mine a7bich manal el****"
I teared
"did he really mean it? ..."
then I cried I couldn't help it I was holding back my tears but I couldn't anymore ..
few days pasted and my dad always came to visit and see how mom was doing he actually did change which something that made me so proud of, things were going okai with mom she's starting to recover and be better I felt great but there was still something missing him ...
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