After 2 days my mom's condition wasn't getting any better she called me that moring and I went to her room, I saw her shivring callling me for help I ran towards her.
Me :"yuma????"
Mom :"manal yeeby kambal bser3a dafeeny"
I ran and brought another kambal for her I was scared.
Me :"hach yuma" I coverd her with another kamel and hugged her to keep her warm
after a while my mom slept and I was still hugging her, I let go and I saw her in bed I coverd her and I thought to myself, my mom really needs me right now I can't leave her at all I just can't.
I heard my phone vibrate it was 3aysha calling.
I picked it up ...
Me :"alloo"
3aysha :"hey manal ... how are things goin with ur mom is she better?"
Me :"not so good 3aysha, my mom really needs me and I can't ..."
3aysha :"you can't what?"
Me :"I can't leave her ... I can't get married anytime soon"
3aysha :"Oh .. so ?"
Me :"I don't know 3aysha... I just don't know"
I sighed
3aysha :"wallah madri manool maybe ur right ur mom needs u right now and you can't leave her so you should stick with her"
Me :"yea .. I know I should"
3aysha :"yea, manool?"
Me :"yea?"
3aysha :"melchty"
Me :"shfeeha?"
3aysha :"next week!!! nesaity?"
Me :"ooooooh omg sorry nesait with everything that happened and mom ahh nesait 3awash"
3aysha :"its okai I understand, but I want you to be there manool please"
Me :"oki I will be enshallah"
3aysha :"have u talked to a7mad?"
Me :"ummm .. no mn 2 days I didn't"
3aysha :"why?"
Me :"I was too busy taking care of my mom .."
3aysha :"I bet he's worried sick .. at least chan gelty lah"
Me :"I did 2 days ago he said talk to me when ur free"
3aysha :"well ur free now talk to him"
Me :"fine fine I will"
I sent to a7mad.
Me :"hey"
a7mad :"hey? 2 days ... 2 days w ma kalamteeny <\3"
Me :"I'm sorry I told u I had to take care of mom"
a7mad :"I know 3al a8al 6amneeny low kelma wa7da"
Me :"ahh I'm sorry ..."
a7mad :"its okai, how are u now?"
Me :"I'm okai .. hbu?"
a7mad :"missing u.."
Me :"Aww<3"
a7mad :"yea ... but u were too busy to notice"
Me :"thats not true wallah I missed you toou have no idea"
a7mad :"3ayal laish ma kalamteeny ..?"
Me :"sigh .. cuz I was thinking about us ..."
a7mad :"what about us?"
Me :"I know I rejected you alot cause I was either scared or not sure about my feelings or I thought it was wrong, but this time its different the thing is a7mad I can't be with you.."
a7mad :"shno? why??"
Me :"I told you cause I have to take care of my mom .."
a7mad :"manal its not about that whats the real reason?"
Me :"Wallah thats the reason"'
a7mad :"what do you have today any plans?"
Me :"no"
a7mad :"Can u meet me at the sea side like last time we saw eachother?"
Me :"umm maybe but my mom needs me"
a7mad :"it'll only take few minutes mara7 a6awel 3alaich"
Me :"oki I'll dress up now"
I wore blue jeans black top and a gray jacket calmed my hair straight and wore black and gray boots I left fast while my mom was sleeping, I hurried with rajo to that place and when I got out of the car I went closer to the sea side and I saw him.
Me :"hey"
a7mad turned around
a7mad :"hey manal"
Me :"so .. I'm here?"
a7mad :"ta3ali"
he grabbed my hand and we sat in a chair by the sea.
he looked at me and I looked at him I swear we both had so many things we wanted to say to eachother and let out everything but we both kept quite and we weren't smiling like always.
a7mad :"how are things with ur mom?"
Me :"I'm doing fine but she's still sick.."
a7mad :"yea .."
Me :"a7mad why did u really want me to come here?"
a7mad :"because I wanna tell you something"
Me :"tell me?"
a7mad :"manal t3arfeen eni a7bich mn kel galbi w I did everything for you that u wanted wallah sawait kel shay elly tabeena w ma 6alabt mnich shay bss to be my wife .. I really do love u manal I'm not playing or jocking around I'm serious I'm just waiting for ur approval so we'd become husband and wife but u keep t2a5reena and pospone it and that makes me wonder if you really love me or not .. and it hurts ne6artich 2 days tkalmeeni tgoolen ay shay bss u didn't bother and text me or talk to me or even a hello I started to wonder if really love me or not"
my eyes waterd up..
Me :"how could u say this? how could you say I don't love u or doubt that I don't .. a7mad ana a7bik I told u so many times I do ur my best friend and more ur always there for me and helped me alot which is something I can never repay you, I know I didn't talk to u these past few days and I'm sorry a7mad wallah I truly am, but I forgot everything and everyone when I was with my mom I just helped her and talked to her all day and ma hadait'ha thats why I didn't text u mo salfat I dont love ohwa salfat my mom kel shay asaweeh now is for my mom and I can't do what u want me to do cuz ofc omi awla mn kel shay .."
a7mad :"I know manal adri omich 3ala rasy wallah, bss laish t2a5reen kel shay ... ur pushing me away from you and I know why .. its cause ur scared and I understand manal I really do I understand all the pressure u had and kel shay bss pushing me away won't take ur fear away"
Me :"I'm not pushing u away I'm just scared, I really am scared cuz that day when I saw my mom laying in the hopsital I got so scared that I'd be left alone cause my mom is my everything wallah a'9ee3 bdooonha and something changed inside of me and it was like a sign to stick with my mom and not leave her sight le2ana 5o9o9ab ebhalwagt omi t7tajni w ma7ad ma3aha and I can't leave her I won't not for anyone.."
a7mad :"I'm not asking u to leave ur mom I would never ask u to do that I just don't want u to push me away cause I feel Like ur fading away and shway shway u won't talk to me then we'd end up not wanting eachother, manal ur my life and I don't wanna lose my life cuz I'm dead without it manal I need you I want you all of you, I promised I won't leave you even if u pushed me away remember? and I still won't leave you I love u"
tears streamed down my face a7mad placed his finger and wiped my tears that was falling down my cheek.
Me :"yea I know a7mad ... I just ..."
a7mad :"you just?"
Me :"I just have somethig to tell you" I teared while saying that
a7mad :"tell me?"
Me :"I can't marry you .."
a7mad :"what do you mean you can't marry me?"
Me :"I can't be with you right now, I need to be with my mom ... and if I married you I'd leave her and she's already ma'9'3o6a with everything since dad left w ana elwa7eeda elly agdar asa3dt'ha and I just can't leave her"
I teared alot
a7mad :"you don't wanna marry me?" I saw a Tear stream down a7mad's face
Turns our a7mad is such a senstive guy towards people he love.
Me :" no"
I lied I do wanna marry him but I can't now it'll take time, if he's willing to marry me he will in time.
a7mad :"ahh ... I thought you said you loved me?"
I wiped away a7mad's tears
Me :I do love you but I can't be with you right now and what I wanna say is do you love me?"
a7mad :"more than anything in this world"
Me :"if you truly love me you'd come for me ta56bny after 2 years ... and during that time we won't talk to eachother or communicate or anything a7mad "
a7mad :"manal mn 9ijich I can't leave you"
Me :"I want you to .. you'll respect my decision if you truly love me I'm gonna take care of my mom and help her wallah she's the most important thing in my life our love yet2ajal but my mom can't, a7mad ana a7bik you have no idea how I'm deeply in pain right now and my heart hurts cause I'm gonna leave you .."
a7mad :"manal la tgoleen chthy please" he teared
Me :"its true a7mad I have to do this if you truly love me you'd promise me after 2 years you'll come for my hand in marrige .."
a7mad :"I promise manal.... when I entred your life I never left and I don't plan to ... baby I'm nothing without you, you showed me how to face my fears you believed in me and when I had no one to open up to w ashkee lah u were there and you always listened and you helped me with college homework and u have the most beautiful soul I've ever seen, wallah without u chan ma da5alt squash w radait lah again without you chan me 7asait belsh3oor elly a7iss feeh al7een which is love what I'm trying to say manal I'll wait for you no matter how many years it takes I don't care about any other girls I just want you every part of you to be mine a7bich manal el****"
I couldn't help but tear and cry infront of him because it hurts so much the pain was like something being cut inside you that you just want it to stop and go away its so painful to hear those words from him its so painful to have to leave him cuz I dont want to I never did but this was something I had to do for my mom's sake I gave up the love of my life for my mom cuz she's the most important thing of my life.
I looked at a7mad we both teared alot ..
Me :"oki so after 2 years u'll come .. and if you don't I'll know and you'll know that you never really truly loved me and us wasn't meant to be .."
a7mad :"I will come you have my word manal..."
Me :"I love you so much it hurts so bad" I teared
a7mad :"wallah ana akthar manal you have no idea how much it hurts .. leaving the girl of my dreams but I'm doing this because I love you when u love someone you gotta let them go .. I love you manal forever"
I hugged him and he hugged me we didn't wanna let go of eachother it was the most painful decision I had made and it was the most painful thing I had to do, I left him after that and went home I found my mom sleeping I went to my room.
I layed in my bed quitley then I started crying hard I didn't want anyone to hear me so I put the pillow on my face and cried hard without a sound that pain didn't go away I slept after that I woke up to my mom's shout .. she was calling me.
I ran fast and saw my mom she needed help with something I helped her after everything that day the pain was still there It didn't go away.
a7mad's side :
I was in a shock the whole ride home.
"how could this happen ? I let her slip away from my hand the girl of my dreams just left"
I couldn't believe it at all I was in so much pain that I no longer feel my heart beats it was so powerful.
"I love her so much if 2 years what it'll take to have her then I'll wait"
Manal's side :
few days pasted I still helped my mom with everything and also did alot of house work with the maid suddenly I heard someone knock the door it was .....
No comments:
Post a Comment